April Fool Me Once...

See, I've been hurt before.

I just spent the month of March enduring Pittsburgh's bi-polar weather patterns. I didn't even want to type the term 'bi-polar' because it uses a key word found in polar vortex, a weather phenomenon no one had ever heard of until December of 2013. Then it became the most important thing in our lives and I'm pretty sure it's the driving force behind Obamacare.  I've been having flashbacks to El Nino and I run my ceiling fan and space heater in my bedroom simultaneously to keep my body temperature confused.

So here comes April with all the cool, indifferent swagger of Brad Pitt in any Oceans movie. All shiny suits, warm colors and confident smirk, telling me we can do what everyone says is impossible: hit 70 degrees. Walk outside without a jacket. Bask in the glow of that large yellow disk in the sky that radiates light and heat. Take in the long lost color green. Hear the joyous chirping of birds. Sit outside with a cup of coffee and look out upon a landscape that is no longer grey, cold and devoid of life. Fit into the same size jeans I wore in high school. Find the missing Malaysian plane. Maintain peace and stability in Ukraine.

I may have gotten a little ahead of myself there. But if anything, it proves my point (I swear I have one). This is the influential power that the mere promise of spring weather has over our mental and emotional well being. It taunts me with growth. With positivity. With happiness. With a better life. All brought to me by the turning of the season and the leaving behind of my frozen negativity and complacency. I change from a dark, depressed, coat-wrapped Edgar Allen Poe verse to a 60's hippie skipping through a field of daisies, bringing peace to the world with flowers and Beatles (or 2Pac) songs. Self improvement is not only possible, it's inevitable. My dreams are no longer foolish longings but practical goals. My enemies are all forgiven while my friends and family shall partake of the finest meats and cheeses in all the land as we laugh and embrace the coming of spring. This is hope.

Then I look at a 5-day forecast. And while my trust of meteorologists is on par with your average Guatemalan drug lord I see those numbers slowly dwindling downward as the week goes on. I see the short sleeves of my button up shirt lengthen into long sleeves tomorrow evening. I see my light jacket pulled out of the closet on Thursday as the temperature cools and rain is promised into Friday. Then I glance at Saturday and a figurative chill grips my heart even as a literal chill grips my city. High in the 40s. Low below freezing. And I know the truth. April's promises are as shallow as the character development in the previously mentioned Oceans movies. It's delivering on its promise...for one day only. April giveth, and April taketh away. I refuse to be fooled again. I'll keep my gloves in my jacket pockets. My winter hat close at hand. My heavy boots not yet resigned to the closet for the next 6 months. My space heater still at the ready. I may be cynical but I'm prepared.

I told you. I've been hurt before.

In honor of winter, I present the saddest song ever...